Anyone else feel like the world is a different place then it was a few weeks ago? days ago? hours ago?
I feel very fortunate that I still have a job (maybe some of you have lost yours and I am so sorry)… but I am working from home. Which… is… interesting… I miss my coworkers, I miss the office, I had to postpone and cancel trips, etc. etc. I can count on one hand how many times I have had interactions with someone face to face in the past week, and when this is over I will never take for granted in person conversations again! I have been lonely.
I spend my whole day with my wonderful dog, who I am pretty sure wants me to go to the office too.
You leave the front door and there is a somber feeling… people are worried, people keep distance (which is mandated here, but is still strange). There are confirmed cases in my apartment complex, which leaves everyone even a little more on edge.
Then you think about the state of our country and our world. It’s hard to grasp. The hardships, the sickness, the death, the unemployment, the fear. It is overwhelming.
We are going through an unprecedented time. Almost every single person has been forced to slow down, at least a little… except those exceptional people that are working harder then ever. A big shoutout to doctors, nurses, first responders, gov’t employees, grocery store workers, pharmacists, etc… you guys are the heroes. Thank you!
Anyway, as times have slowed down I have had to be more purposeful and thoughtful in how I spend my time. Yes, I have to work… but that isn’t the whole day. Then what? I can’t go anywhere I normally go, I can’t see people that I normally see, I can’t do what I normally do. It’s hard!
This can feel so disorienting, sometimes scary, as there are steps out into the unknown. I am a planner, so I would rather have my future figured out, confirmed and predictable. (It could be another blog post about how I always have plans and God always shows His plans are greater and mine get changed). But, my life, our lives have been changed. This isn’t what we signed up for, is it?
One thing that I have been trying to be more purposeful in, is my time in the Word. Time to refocus on God and establish myself. Where I look for comfort, wisdom and discernment. Doing this has been critical as I have decided what my new daily routine looks like. Don’t think I have it all figured out, because I am a mess! I have had my fair share of confusion, frustration and anxiety, but I am trying to keep my eyes focused on the One who is still in control.
I have been comforted in the last couple weeks that the future, which seems unknown in many ways, is known by a God that is trustworthy. He promises to go before us and be with us always (Deuteronomy 31:8) Then in John 14: 27, He tells us he will be our peace in the storms of life. This allows us to move forward with faith that God will truly bring beauty from all of these ashes.
We have to make a choice (sometimes a moment by moment choice) to walk by faith and not by sight. God will guide, uphold and keep you anchored. We can experience Him as King David did in Psalm 23 – as the Good Shepherd who guides, who leads, who never forsakes, who keeps coming after us, when we stray.
There will be plenty of time for all of us to be busy again. So, my hope in this time that God will unrush me. So I can feel His presence, so He can restore my soul.
By the way, I am also doing other things during this time… lots of recreational reading, puzzles, walking the dog, staying active, FaceTiming friends (yay technology), watching movies and reorganizing my apartment! =)